Realize. real eyes. real lies.

I y'am who I y'am

The negative appearance.

So going back , and reading through my tweets on twitter since november, I realized just how unhappy and negative I sound. And truth is, I generally am a happy content person. But its like some weird messed up addiction that I have to complain about every single negative thing that goes on in my life. I apparently don’t talk a whole lot about the happpy things that happen. Which is odd. I mean, grant it, I had been going through a really tough problem starting from october and endng just recently (hopfully, anyway.) But I really shouldn’t have sounded so negative in almost all of my tweets. So I just wanted to take a second and apologize to anyone who has read a lot of my tweets, or just virtual posts in general. And I just wanted to say that I am sooooo gratful for my life and every one in it. I truley am blessed, and I do realize it. I just don’t feel like I make that clear very well. But im human, thus imperfect, and I have a lot of. Things that I need to work on. And I accept that. :) hence I shall push forward towards improvment.

Micheal Jackson & Paranormal activity 2

Last nights dreams were NOT pleasant. they involved Micheal Jackson and paranormal activity 2. at least they kept me from wanting to hit the snooze and go back to sleep, since I needed to get up early this morning.

Yup. going, going, gone…. Ginger :)

Yup. going, going, gone…. Ginger :)

Just got a random message from a 50 yr old man saying “Would you be interested in talking with a older guy who has plenty of money, willing to spend it on you, and who will treat you like a princess” -_- FML is all I have to say.

That moment when…

You know those moments, those days, those months, years… etc, where you have constant battles with yourself. Yeah. story of my life. in one way or another. today is especially bad. today I just feel completely value-less. like… really really worthless. not loved I suppose. it’s weird, I’ve had these kinds of feelings before, I mean, I suppose all human beings do… but I really REALLY feel it. it hurts. I have this terribly desperate yearning to feel loved right now. I HATE it. ugh ugh and ugh. and because I feel this terrible need, it makes it worse. One of two things either happens when I feel like this. #1 I either get myself in trouble. or #2. I hurt. a lot. and it lasts a long time…

Okay. I’m done now.

Songs to learn to play

Tell me - he is we

cactus in the valley - lights

i need you to love me - barlowgirl

Galaxies - owl city

Starry eyed- Ellie Goulding

when is rains - Paramore

almost lover - a fine frenzy

Never alone - Barlowgirl